Dork Diaries: Pop Star. Dork Diaries 3. Book 4. Dork Diaries: Skating Sensation. Book 5. Dork Diaries: Dear Dork. Book 6. Dork Diaries: Holiday Heartbreak. Book 7. Dork Diaries: TV Star. Book 8. Dork Diaries: Once Upon a Dork. His last words were, "Set me Free! Awaiting him were my mother and father with open arms and other family members and friends who went before. William's reunion with his loved ones is a joyous event. Across the street from Florida State Prison a vigil gathering honored William's life and the people who tirelessly seek to abolish the death penalty.
Mark Elliott of Floridians for Alternatives to the Death Penalty gave the opening speech and I was able to read an excerpt from William's blog. Two of Florida's recent exonerees from Death Row, Seth Penalver and Herman Lindsey, held a bell which people rang with a hammer while reciting quotes of love and hope. The Gainesville Citizens against the Death Penalty read a thank you letter from William encouraging them in their fight against capital punishment. As William's final minutes on earth were approaching, a butterfly came nearby and gently flew around me while a beautiful cumulus cloud above the prison formed a silver lining at the top edges.
The sun behind the cloud rose through the top edge and a golden sunburst crowned the cloud. I had the distinct impression of William rising above the earth and soaring to the heavens. I felt his presence in my heart and a calm enveloped me as I realized he was finally free and flying home on wings of Light. I was reminded of my final visit with him earlier that morning when he embraced me, Traci and Jan and with a radiant smile on his face said, "How can I be sad with all this immense love flowing into my heart from you and everyone who is sending their Love?
My heart is overflowing. William only thought of others and was so humbled by the outpouring of love and kindness he received from loved ones and people all over the world he never knew before.
His life has made an astounding impact on others and his writing will continue to do so. There are two final blog entries that I will receive when I arrive in California and will post from there. Tuesday, June 04, May 28, A situation like this tends to make you reflect on the elusive nature of time itself, which some folks - physicists and metaphysicists alike - claim is an illusion anyway.
Real or not it sure seems to be going someplace quickly! This may be my last letter to reach you before you begin your journey down south to be by my side for my final days. These many visits I've recently received from those who love me have been a blessing for me.
I'm acutely aware that some guys on death watch have absolutely nobody to help them bear their burden during their last days and hours on earth, not a soul willing to share some love. It's a terrible thing to die all alone I continue to be inundated with letters of support and love from around the world, many from kind-hearted strangers, and many similar blog posts which you've shared with me.
Many are very moving, and all are deeply appreciated. I am humbled. While I've answered many I simply cannot respond to them all in my allotted time remaining. As my shortening days inexorably telescope down my focus turns ever inward as I wrestle with the timeless questions of the universe that have puzzled man since the dawn of consciousness here on Schoolhouse Earth.
I read in a recent newspaper article that the brother and sister of Fred Griffis, the victim in my case, are angry that I'm still alive and eager for my execution. These are understandable human feelings. I have a brother and sister myself and I cannot honestly say how I would deal with it if something happened to you or Jeff at the hands of another. I have thought of Fred many times over the years and grieved over his senseless death. I feel bad for Fred's siblings though if seeing another human being die will truly give them pleasure.
I suspect when I'm gone, if they search their hearts, they will grasp the emptiness of the closure promised by the revenge of capital punishment. There's a lot of wisdom in the old saying "An eye for an eye soon makes th e whole world blind. I've been blessed with a strong body and a stout mind and spirit, more than sufficient to see me through this final passage.
The deep love of others, freely given to me by those I'm honored to call my friends, helps ease the journey. The one thing I am absolutely certain of after 58 years on this rock is that LOVE is the foundation of the cosmos, the very essence of what we call God. This is the one lesson we all must learn, and will learn in due time, and which gives me my peace.
May 22, The fickleness, the arbitrariness, the fleeting nature of life itself is on display daily throughout our world but as good an example as any occurred here on Monday morning when, as I was being dressed out here on Q-Wing for a visit, a sudden radio call brought the wing officers rushing upstairs where they found a prisoner non-death row hanging in his cell.
The irony wasn't lost on me that while 3 of us on death watch are fighting to live, this poor soul, living just 10 feet above us, stripped of all hope, had voluntarily surrendered his life rather than continue his dismal existence. When nothing but a lifetime of suffering lays ahead - with no hope, no promise, no opportunity to change your fate - the idea of utter annihilation can come to look appealing in contrast. When everything has been taken from you, the one thing you have left, that nobody can take away, is the decision to live or die.
In that context choosing death can look like freedom. I've been there myself, I understand the depth of despair and regret that can constrict your heart until all hope is wrung out and life itself is a bitter gall caught in your throat.
Death, like despair, permeates this wing like a suffocating shroud, this forlorn cellblock with its long and well-traveled history of violent murders, despondent suicides and extended litany of executions. Today my neighbor, Elmer, went on Phase II of death watch, which begins 7 days prior to execution.
Staff also performs a "dry run" or "mock execution", basically duplicating the procedures that will occur 7 days later. This is when you know you're making the final turn off the back stretch, you know your death is imminent, easily within reach, you can count it by hours instead of by days. Right now I'm on deck; when Elmer goes I'll be up to bat that's enough sports metaphors for now.
I just learned today that the Florida Supreme Court, in a decision, has denied our motion for a stay of execution and the attorneys' motions to withdraw, and has ordered these 3 different attorneys to represent me - over their vigorous objections that they are unqualified and unfamiliar with my case - on the eve of my execution.
It's a circus and a farce; nothing like this has happened in Florida and it's setting a bad precedent. The media are running with the story Florida is looking really bad in this matter, the butt of jokes in the legal community but the Supreme Court, or at least 4 of the 7 Justices, are doggedly determined to kill me on June 12, lawyers or no lawyers, and nobody can tell them otherwise. They've decided to "pretend" I have legal representation not competent, or qualified representation, just representation in name only and let it go at that.
I'm being overwhelmed with letters of support from around the world and across the country, often from people I don't know, who thank me for positively impacting their lives or lives of a loved one through my writings, either my books, or short stories, or the blog posts.
I will not be able to reply to all these letters in the short time I have left here on Schoolhouse Earth, but I am moved and humbled by these messages. I am not unusual in wanting to believe, at the end of my line, that my life counted for something good, that I had some positive influence on someone, that my life made a difference, that I was able to at least partially atone for the many mistakes I made earlier in life.
There's not much you can do in that direction from the confines of a cell; writing is about the only available vehicle that can transcend the prison bars. That was the only tool I had, and I tried to use it in a positive, productive manner.
These letters tell me I succeeded and that counts for a lot in my heart. That's it for now, Sis. Give yourself a big hug for me, and a tummy rub for the doggies!
Thursday, May 23, May 19, I've got 25 days left to live. It isn't normal to be able to write something like that, and that sense of surrealism permeates every hour down here. Making a man spend his last six weeks ticking off every minute, hour and day of his life left on earth constitutes cruel and unusual punishment by any definition.
And it certainly constitutes, as a matter of law, two of Florida's statutory aggravating circumstances used by the state to justify the imposition of death sentences , to wit: 1 the killing is cold, calculated and premeditated; and, 2 the killing is heinous, atrocious and cruel. Although I've fully accepted my circumstances, I know it's going to happen and I've come to terms with it, that does not obviate the fact that it just isn't right to do this to people, and for society to accept this as normal or natural, well, it speaks more about our society than it does about those being so efficiently dispatched down here in the bowels of this penitentiary.
Having said that, and on a purely personal note, perhaps it is good for me to endure this, drip by drip, stripe by stripe, in order to indelibly etch this on my spirit, to ensure that in my next life my soul will, through its slumber, vividly recall these long days, will never, ever forget this lesson and I will never repeat the mistakes and poor choices that plagued this life I'm about to surrender.
Just a thought There are now three of us down here on death watch; all our executions are spaced 2 weeks apart. The guy with senior status Elmer is set to die on May 29th, 2 weeks before me.
Last week the Florida Supreme Court denied his last-ditch appeal and he's got no place left to go. He does not know much about the law or court procedures but he told me he knows there is now nothing between him and his date with death. He's resigned to his fate and I hear him pacing the floor a lot, a pacing that is gradually morphing into a listless shuffling, as if all hope has deflated from his body, like air leaking from a punctured tire.
It's a sad, melancholy sound when you know its context. I choose to remain active, vital and alive, my spirit, intellect and even my humor undiminished, and I'll remain so until they shoot that poison into my veins and snuff out the candle of this physical vehicle. I understand there are usually about two dozen witnesses to these executions and I sometimes wonder about those who will be at mine, unknown, faceless men rooting for me to die, happy to see me breathe my last breath.
I wonder about men who do not know me, have never met me, never broken bread with me and who know nothing about what's in my heart, who nonetheless are anxious, eager, happy to see me die. It does not bother me, but I wonder if it will ever bother any of those men and yes, it's almost always men, with their lust for blood; women seldom indulge in this , perhaps in their sunset years when they reflect back on their youth and wonder about their imperatives.
I hope, for their sakes, that one day they will be ashamed - or at least disappointed - with their naked blood lust and will determine to henceforth set a better example for those following behind them.
Saturday, May 18, May 12, Sometime soon I'll be given the details on how "the body" will be disposed of following the legally required autopsy will my cause of death really be a mystery? I understand the State will pay for a cremation should I choose this form of disposal I do and my ashes will be available at a Gainesville Funeral home; but don't quote me on that yet.
Discussing the practical aspects of my upcoming death was a little disconcerting, but I took it in stride. I've been on death watch for 10 days now and I have 31 days left to live. It seems surreal when I write that out, and just as surreal that all those around me accept this as a normal and natural thing.
My cell one of three is next to the execution chamber so I won't have far to walk. There's another guy down here with me, his execution is set for 2 weeks before mine so assuming he doesn't get a stay I'll have a front row seat to how the final days and hours play out. Aren't I lucky? I gotta tell you, Sis, there's a big difference between contemplating your death in the abstract and seriously considering it when it's an absolute, undeniable soon-to-occur fact, when you are counting down the exact days you have left here on Schoolhouse Earth.
I got little sleep the first week, perhaps 2 hours a night and then I was up and wide awake at a. I'd finally get my mind onto some mundane subject and then, bam! This still happens a dozen times a day, and more at night. When your warrant gets signed so many things suddenly become trivial.
All those great books I'll never get to read; reams and reams of legal work I've been dragging around, and studying, for 2 decades and which has suddenly lost its relevance. My magazines and newspapers stack up unread; I have little appetite to waste valuable, irreplaceable hours reading up on current events. Does it really matter to me now what's happening in the Middle East, or on Wall Street, or how my Miami Dolphins are looking for the upcoming new season? What's the point?
Ditto the TV; I'm uninterested in wasting time watching programs that now mean nothing in the grand scheme of things. The other day I caught myself reaching for my daily vitamin. Likewise, after 40 years of working out religiously, that's out the window now. Again, what's the point? Now, every decision about how to spend the next hour reminds me of Elaine in that Seinfeld episode where she had to constantly evaluate whether her boyfriends were really "sponge worthy.
After 10 days on death watch you know what I've come away with? This shit isn't right! On so many levels! I'm not talking about me, about the particulars of my case. I mean across the board, for anyone. This institutionalized and ritualized killing of our fellow human beings, this process which, in its mundane daily regularity seeks to make this very abnormal thing normal and acceptable.
It's sick, and it's crazy when you actually consider what's going on. The folks here who are thanklessly tasked with actually carrying it out, they do not like doing it. They see us, talk with us, occasionally laugh and joke with us, on a daily basis, and then one day they have to come in and kill us. This ain't natura l! One day, I pray, we as a nation will have an expansion of consciousness and we'll ask ourselves how we ever thought this was right.
Today is Mother's Day, and as I usually do this time of year I open my photo album and look at those old black and white photos of Mom God, she was beautiful! These are, for now, unanswerable questions, but when I pass over to the next plane I hope to get some answers.
If nothing else I'll be with Mom and Dad and that is what gives me such peace. As they walked they came across a man working in a field and on the road outside the field a pair of old shoes. The student said to the professor, "let's play a joke on him. We'll take away the shoes and hide them and see how he reacts when he comes out and cannot find them. Both of us are well off. We should not make fun out of hard working poor people. Instead let us put a gold coin in each shoe and see what happens when he finds them.
On finishing his work the man came out to put on his shoes. On putting on the first he felt something and looking inside took out the gold coin. Thoroughly surprised he looked all around him a number of times and seeing nobody he put the gold coin in his pocket. Then he put on the other shoe and to his even greater surprise he found another gold coin. Overcome he fell on his knees, raised his eyes to the sky and loudly praised God, thanking Him for sending him help for his sick wife, for the children who were undernourished and for His great love in providing him with this unexpected gift.
The student was profoundly moved and his eyes filled with tears. I wasn't really surprised when they showed up at my cell door with the chains and shackles; for the last month or so I've had a strong premonition that my warrant was about to be signed, but that wasn't something I wanted to share with you. In order to provide our users with the security and safety they expect we have to reduce the number of freebies given away to concentrate on those people who appreciate the site enough to make a small contribution every month.
Please do get in touch if you have any questions or suggestions and we will honestly do our best to help you. Skip to content. I always love your blog and your YT channel You are my favorite human for uploading all these.
I can't wait for you to get the most recent single though No rush :D :D. Thank you so much for the Hey Say Jump songs!!! I recently got into them when I found out about Yamada was in a idol group so I listened to a couple of their songs and they're so amazing! I also listen to K-pop more, but slowly i'm getting into J-pop as well!
I've following your blog for a long time but haven't say thank you properly I'm sorry. Its hard to collect Jpop groups album songs. Thank you!!! Thank you so much! You're the best! It felt like we bought their album without spending a cent. You're so kind! Thank yooou! Thank you so much for always posting Jump's songs Brenda! I hope you have a nice day! OMG NGL i was their fan in , i love them so much, i used to listen to their songs and i downloaded every single of their MV on youtube.
Thank you so much i cant believe after 10 years i still can listen to their old songs such as your seed and mayonaka no shadow boy. Hello, could you fix Super Super Night?
Because it couldn't be downloaded. Thanks before :. I really waiting for their new album fab music speaks. If you back, can you upload it too? Hey guys! All these files are ripped from my CD's. Click album art to for the album. Ultra Music Power. Track List:. Dreams Come True. Mayonaka no Shadow Boy. Hitomi no Screen. Magic Power. Yamada Ryosuke - Mystery Virgin. Come On A My House. Ride With Me. My Jelly! Bokura wa OK? Album - S3art.
Sensations - KoroSensations. JUMP Ver. Kimi Attraction. Sensations - Sayonara Sensation. Give Me Love Single. Original Karaoke. White Love Single. Mae wo Muke Single. Anonymous September 29, at AM. Brendog September 29, at PM. Anonymous September 30, at AM. Brendog October 1, at PM. Unknown April 1, at PM. Anonymous December 2, at AM. Brendog March 9, at PM. Anonymous March 23, at AM. Brendog March 23, at PM.
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